READERS MAIL
This is where we answer your questions, publish letters sent to The
Word and generally answer any fan mail.
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Dear Word..
Ahhhh I tell you, I`m totally beat, I was up last night with 40 women -
all in the same bed - all after the same thing.....the pillow.
Dave Diamond
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Dear Dave
Glad to hear you haven't lost your sense of humour. We were starting
to get worried that you'd forgotten us or were unable to write due to
hairy palms or blindness. Well my mother said if..
The Word Staff
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CLOTHING - WHO GET'S AWAY WITH MORE?
Something interesting, that not many people seem to think of. If a
woman goes around in a skirt 50cm above their knee, they get often
looked upon as a bit of a tart, but have you noticed if a man goes
around in a pair of shorts the same legnth, no one even bats an eyelid.
So what's really the difference apart from a pair of shorts has a join,
that's it, is that the reason? It's wierd, because a man can walk
around with no shirt on through the town centre, but a woman wears
anything a bit revealing.. slag. It's still the case that male bodies
are more accepted in society, unfair if you ask me.
Any comments on this?
DAN WOOD
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Dear Dan
As long as women are allowed to wear sweet fa in public then I'm afraid
we don't wish to complain. We don't call them slags however but relief.
As for guys, I'm afraid I don't give two hoots what they wear to be
honest as long as it's not a "I love Windows 95" T-Shirt because that's
just asking for it! ;)
The Word Staff
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"ARE WE ALL SAD LAYS?"
In issue 11 of the word I placed an advert for help to get me to meet
girls and due to an overwhelming response from 0 I would like to ask
that is it because none of us can pull birds?
Come on guys, the blow up doll is punctured and I`m desperate.
I NEED HELP!
Wanna bet the editor of the word will write something to this comment?!
Dave Diamond
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Dear Dave
Since this "article" was classed as too small to be an article it has
some how found it's way into my mailbag. The answer to your question is
probably that not many girls read the Word as yet. However with the
Word going on-line from this issue, we calculate about another 300
people will read your articles a week so your best bet is to put away
the puncture repair kit and get typing those articles designed to "hit
the spot".
The Editor
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"DEAR MR.DIAMOND..."
A letter I recieved the other day....
Dear Mr.Diamond,
It has come to our attention that you have written a
number of articles about your sexual fantasies and stories in various
computer publications and on the World Wide Web.
A number of our girls are very fond of your writings and so they have
asked me to deliver an invitation for you to attend a photo shoot with
our girls and for myself on behalf of my managers company to offer you a
substantial wage to pose for our July issue centerfold fully nude.
Such benefits would come your way with dates and sexual ecstasy with our
many wonderfull ladies.
Please let me know as soon as possible so we can make arrangements for
the shoot.
Thanking you in advance.
A.Studd
(Head of photo shoots,Playboy Magazine)
I of course declined the offer as the Razzle Magazine offered more
lucrative offers!
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Dear Dave
Did you explain your problems regarding arriving to early when
shooting? ;) Sorry.. couldn't resist it. I used to actually do model
shoots myself and I should get around to scanning my photos in. Anyone
got a scanner?
The Editor
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"THE BLACK LIST PART II"
A few issues ago I wrote an article on the many people not bothering to
reply to adverts they placed in recent issues of the word. What follows
are yet more cases of unscrupulous people advertising but not bothering
to reply..hey do you get off on it?
Avoid these people at all costs.
--------------------------------
Indi/?
Drifter/?
WorkBench/NFA
Carp/Phuture 303
Lamers,no wonder the amiga is dying with people like YOU around.
Dave Diamond
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Dear Dave
We, the Word staff can't really go around letting everyone get the
impression that certain people are not worth contacting unless several
different people tell us the same thing. I must also remind you Dave
that when you originally wrote for contacts a while back, you came
across as so lame that it just wasn't worth a response. Even I didn't
reply to your letter. However, Dick did and through him you started
contributing to the Word and then re-contacting me where my opinion of
you has changed somewhat. However, in this world we live in today,
first impressions count so it might mot be them but you. I can actually
comment here that Carp is a great contact of mine. I traded with him
years ago and recently we started up again. He's a lot faster than me
and gets good stuff fast but if you came across as being a "know it all"
or "no-nothing" then he may not reply.
The Word Staff
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Dear Word
I've noticed that on occasion, not all of my articles get's published
in your magazine. Is there are reason for this?
Various
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Kei writes..
Yes. Articles travel various routes to get to me. Those that come via
the BBS and contacts of Carnage take longer and therefore may appear in
a future issue so keep looking! Those that come direct to me through my
letterbox or via email usually get published 99.9% of the time unless
they contain something so illegal that after a discussion among the
staff, we have decided not to publish it.
It's also worth mentioning that over the past few issues, things have
been in a bit of a state here at Word central as we've had to re-direct
mail and change addresses due to people moving. Mail going to 41
Lambourne Drive is still being re-directed and any mail going to 59
Waldeck is lost as Amida moved and there is no one there to redirect the
mail. To guarantee your articles arriving at the correct address,
always reply to the LATEST issue of The Word. The current address is
107B Newton Road so make a note of it. You can confirm receipt by
enclosing an SAE, using recorded delivery or asking me via email at
keiofcarnage@geocities.com.
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"DAVE DIAMOND QUITS!"
On the 05/04/97 I decided after reading the news that my former love
(you know who she is by now) has a boyfriend. Distraught I felt there
was no need for me to continue writing as the very life was drained from
my soul after reading that line. There is now no need for me to go on
as the only thing that kept me sane was knowing that I`ll always be
hunting high and low, as there`s no end to the lengths I`d go to find
her, now that she has a boyfriend the last drop of ability I have was
shed.
"I`M HUNTING HIGH AND LOW AND NOW THEY`RE TELLING ME SHE`S GOT TO
GO.....AWAY"
"I`LL ALWAYS BE HUNTING HIGH AND LOW .....ONLY FOR YOU"
"WATCH ME TEARING MYSELF TO PIECES HUNTING HIGH AND LOW THERE`S NO END
TO THE LENGTHS I`D GO TO.....
"FOR YOU I`LL BE HUNTING HIGH AND LOW"
The final Tear Of Love has been wept.
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Dear Dave
We at the Word think this is getting old. Obsessing about a TV
personality is kids stuff. We all know MJH comes no where near Dannii
Minogue. ;)
The Editor
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Kei/Carnage,
Congratulations on another excellent production! The Word #15 is really
cool and I think the colourful menu bar works just fine. It isn't any
harder to use at all, and the clock is a nice touch too.
I only started reading the Word last year (I was at my mates house, that
is - my mate with the CD-ROM drive.... Damn him!) and I found some old
editions and really enjoyed reading them. He told me he didn't think
they were being made anymore because Freak was getting tired of them or
something like that. But now that I'm on the interNET with my peecee I
can download the new ones anytime I want!
What happened to NFA anyway? No offence meant, Carnage is doing just as
good if not better with the Word at the moment, but what happened? One
minute I was reading old ones where NFA were present and then all of a
sudden BANG! Carnage have landed. Hmm.
Now on to the reason I'm writing this..... er, shit, what was it again?
Wait, wait, here it comes.... oh yeah! How can I send you articles
over the internet? Do I just E-Mail them to you or what? I want to
contribute to what I reckon is the coolest Disk Mag there is and I want
to do it without finding a jiffy bag for my disks. Yeah, that was it.
What I would really like to do is join Carnage but I don't think I have
the skills to do anything worthwhile. I've pretty well mastered DPaintV
and I can use ImageFX to an extent. I've programmed some very basic
programs in QBASIC and GWBASIC on my very old computer that I nicked
from my Dad's work. I've experimented with AREXX mostly through
tutorials in CU Amiga, and I had a go at AMOS but I'll be damned if I
can get anything to work with that thing... I can type fast and do
written stuff and I've done some ascii art, but whether it's up to
standard I just don't know.
I have an A1200 with 6Mb RAM, a 1.7 Gb Hard Drive (nowhere near even
half full yet) a second disk drive and some stains on the case. I know
my Amiga inside-out, and there's nothing that goes on that I don't know
about. I guess I'm just an expert.... :)
I also have a P166 16Mb RAM 1.2Gb HD 8x CD-ROM drive which I use for the
internet and sending messages to people with silly names that create
damn fine disk mags! I don't know my PeeCee as well as I know my Amiga
- there's just too much that goes on behind my back. Bastard Bill
Gates...
If there is anything I can do to contribute to the running of the Word
or any other so-called Amiga 'Scene' stuff then drop me a line or seven
at: jayay@usa.net
I'd better go and see if I can finish that damned questionnaire now.
Why did you make it so LONG? Grrrrrrrrrr.
jAyaY
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Dear jAyaY
Thnks for the kind comments. This issue is kind of a hack I did from
issue 15 as I only had 3 days to do it in and no one had sent anything
(from the group) previously. This issues menu bar had to be changed
because I made the mistake of putting the number "15" in it thus
limiting it's use. This time around I "borrowed" part of the colour
version of Andy Bolt's skull picture and pasted my buttons on it. I
like it but I'm sure I'll find out everyone elses opinion soon enough.
;)
Regarding NFA, they changed their name (I believe) and Mike Carter
(Buddha) is still running it. In fact, if Mike's reading this, could
you email me?
Carnage have actually been around as long as NFA but we have only been
called Carnage since 1994. Before that it was Cyberdreams. You can
find our pre-Carnage releases on most Amiga CDROMs.
I've probably replied to you via email already but for everyone elses
benefit.. just send us examples of your work if you wish to join. We
are into everything computer related these days and we are a friendly
bunch of guys so you will probably encounter someone in the group with
similar interests to you. We have an internal communications network
and we offer our members friendship, fun, parties and info on stuff to
make life more fun/easy/cheaper. ;) At present we are 80% Amiga and 20%
PC with 50% of those members owning a PSX or N64. 70% of us are wired
to the Net. We are supposed to be 100% legal but some of us come from
dubious backgrounds so you never know what you'll learn from us. ;)))
As for contributing to the Word.. articles, clipart, web space,
articles, PT-modules, articles, images, articles, group news, articles,
group news and yep.. more articles!
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Kei.. Re: Competition in The Word
Good idea, especially if you can find a company willing to donate a
prize, even at half cost as opposed to free. I think that we can have
small prizes now, say a competition every two issues? I am quite
prepared to donate a small prize, I will buy a PC mouse from Dixons -
about 8 quid - and offer that in one, as long as someone else donates
one two issues later and we work towards getting bigger and better
prizes once the readership goes up.
If there are just three of us, one small prize every six months isn't
going to stretch anyone is it? At that rate we can start giving away
whole new commercial games without being out of pocket. It is a good
idea and if we set an example it will be easier to get companies more
interested, readership needs to go up and I agree that prizes are the
way to go.
BTW, the mouse example is just something I thought of off the top of my
head, I was thinking about a prize to the value of about 20 quid,
ideally it would need to be usable on Amiga and PC, so perhaps a mouse
for each of them? Anyway, the first competition will be in issue 17 -
write an article for 16 telling people, no-one associated with The Word
or Carnage can enter etc, the competition can be art, music, articles or
whatever.
Competition idea, make a HOT TOPIC and award the prize to whoever writes
the best article for it in the next issue. So, you say the hot topic is
"PC v Amiga" (or whatever) in issue 17, and publish the articles in 18 &
award the prize, the announce another in 19, award the prize in 20 etc
etc etc, it would work quite well, AND get more articles in.
Competition Topics: Set Top Boxes
Internet Censorship
Computers on TV
and so on, make then really INTERESTING topics, not shit like Digi, who
ask "Would you pay for Digitiser?", load of shite!
Dick,
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Dick..
You put it into words better than I could so I basically did a
cut-n-paste job on your email. Hope you don't mind? It's a great idea
so lets sit back and see what the response is like from the readers.
I'm also looking forward to feedback from Andy on how many hits the Word
on-line page is getting after the release date has passed!
Kei
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Hi!
Having spent quite a bit of time (4 years) tied down to one Amiga
disk mag, I'm expanding and getting into lots of others now. I'm not
saying which diskmag I own, but it's out there on magazine CD-ROMs and
the net and PD libs. So you may come across it, but no mention of the
'competition' here. (even though I do VERY little on it these days,
it's left to my assistant :)
So I'm entering the 'Scene, which is a part of the Amiga world I've
never been 'up' with. I've seen some issues of THE WORD from it's
earlier days, and I like the approach of "say what you want". And talk
about nothing :) So I'm going to try and become a 'regular' for THE WORD
with any luck. Good to see it's back.
Dan Wood
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Dear Dan,
I wish I had more time to write for other magazines. I used to write
for a pulp magazine called "Miracle" which I miss plus other UK based
diskmags like Visual Intensity and Grapevine which are sadly no more.
I'm about to start writing cyberpunk stories as that's the sort of world
I inhabit these days. I know which mag you write for and I'm glad you
want to help with The Word. Some people are probably sitting in their
house reading this right now wanting to reply but thinking they are not
good enough. You are! If you have something to say then say it!
I can't see myself selling my Amiga so the Word will last as long as
there are readers to support it. Maybe if someone started voting for it
in the international charts it may cause more foreign readers to say
"What is this mag? Anyone have a copy" and from there.. who knows?
You don't need to be on any of the computer scenes or to be part of a
group to read the Word. You just need to have a computer and the
ability to type.
Kei
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Dear Santa,
Look, I know it's early, but I thought I'd get my list done and send it
off now so you get it in good time. I want a pet hamster (one that's
friendly this time, that last one chewed me kno.. er.. finger.) An' I
wanna Nintendo64 (an imported US one, with all the good US games to
date). Anna ninja PC, anna tower and stuff for my amiga, anna
life-size, blow-up pamela anderson (with the extra blow-up bits).
That's about it, Santa.
Fanks.
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Hi Kenco..
Nice to see you made the deadline after I delayed the release date by
a day! ;) So you've worn out another hamster have you..
Kei
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Dear Santa,
Sorry, I forgot my address on the last letter. You really wouldn't have
a clue where to post all my goodies would you? Well, you can tell where
I live by the big neon sign on my roof that says "New hamster here,
Santa!"
Fanks again, Santa.
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Righty ho then. One slightly used hamster. I'll have to open the lid
of my 486 to get it for you. I'm afraid the turbo button no longer
works anymore and there's a slight reduction in MIPS (Mouse Intervals
Per Second).
Kei
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Dear Santa,
Na, I've changed my mind, can I have a gerbil instead of a hamster? And
don't bother with the ninja PC if you can't manage it.
Fanks Santa.
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No problem. We'll put in an order with "Dave Diamond's misc items of
misc useage PLC".
Kei
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